Now that Jack Kevorkian has passed away, the world is badly in need of a new Doctor Death. I want to apply for that job! Heck, I can’t even get my garden to grow. Even the weeds here die off, so I’m a natural when it comes to assisting old people with suicide. All I have to do is let them spend a day in my back yard and they’d be off to Heaven in no time. Plus I also know P’howa, the Tibetan art of transferring consciousness to a new body after you’re dead. That’s a two-for-one deal that I’m offering here! And, unlike Sarah Palin and her expensive corporate-run death panels, my rates are cheap.
Speaking of transferring consciousness, someone ought to transfer some consciousness over to Anthony Weiner. Does he not know that you don’t mess with the big bosses? Taking on Clarence Thomas for insider trading? What was he THINKING! This is NOT Wisconsin and there is no Ian’s Pizza available in Washington DC.
Senator Vitter can get away with visiting whore houses all over the country but that’s only because he’s a Republican. Democrats taking photos of their own lingerie? Not so much.
And speaking of Wisconsin, I’m about to leave for the 2011 Netroots Nation convention in Minneapolis from June 16 to June 19. Sorry, Joe, but I’m going to have to miss Father’s Day. Listening to some representative from the Bush-Obama-Bush White House tell us what a wonderful job Obama is doing while serving as a place-holder for John Ellis Bush is something that I just can’t afford to miss.
And speaking of missing the boat, how about that old Ship of Fools? Someone just equated America in 2011 with Germany in 1939. He could be onto something there. Both countries were/are run by National Socialists — where corporations and governments happily entwine themselves symbiotically while folks like you and me are left out in the cold, passengers on the infamous USS Ship of Fools.
Back before it was too late, all of us poor American middle-class fools shoulda just said to the corporatists the same thing that Bart Simpson shoulda told Anthony Weiner to say — “Eat my shorts!” But we didn’t.
“Jane, I think that we progressives should all get out of America and immigrate to Costa Rica or Canada or somewhere while the getting is still good!” said the guy who thought America was like Germany back in 1939. No way! I wanna stick around and see how America’s post-2012 National Socialist corporatist concentration-camp thingie is gonna play out.
Plus there will surely be a lot of Fools left here in America who will be needing P’howa after the soon-to-be-legendary 2012 election takes place. After 2012, when the corporatists and “endless war” advocates have finally taken over completely, America is going to be needing a new Doctor Death even more than ever. And in America’s current wretched economic crisis situation, that’s an employment opportunity that I just can’t afford to pass up.