What the hell, somebody (h/t Kalium) had to write a post with this title, why not me? And fear not fearless readers, I intend to deliver on all elements promised. And let’s get that out of the way early.

For the bacon, I present a full fledged pig. John Kyl, who I am embarrassed to say, represents the fine state I reside in, Arizona. If it were not for bad Senators, I would have no Senators at all. Here is John Kyl, in transcript form, interacting ("questioning" is too nice for what he was doing) with Sotomayor. I have had to live with this asswipe representing me and not being able to pay enough attention to the jerk because I was worried about Uncle Fester McCain. It is the definition of conundrum. Kyl is like the Gooper Milli Vanilli, he will lip synch whatever cretinous right wing horse manure is available, and he never disappoints.

For the boobs, see the graphic attached hereto. Or check out the latest from MC Steele or Sarah Palin. Enough said.

Blowjob. There, I said it. And I am the second person on this blog to do so!! Now, I dunno if y’all have heard tell or not, but my friend, The Most Right Prim & Proper Ms. Marcy Wheeler, done gone and upset the delicate sensibilities of the Ms. Vanderbilt Ladies Couch Fainting Association, or at least Tam. Hall division thereof, into a bit of the vapors.

Goodness now, what shall we do? Well, it turns out, if you are in the media, you want to cluck cluck that a modern woman might use the term "blowjob" on cable TeeVee. Oh my, It does make one faint, eh? This is delicate tripe coming from a woman employed by a network making its bones on the Bill Clinton prurient diversion.

Now the Trash Talk. It is the Major League Baseball All Star Game tonight and President Barack Obama is throwing out the first pitch and appearing in the broadcast booth with Joe Buck and Tim McCarver. The best moment in my All Star history is banned player Pete Rose sliding into home on Ray Fosse in the 1970 All Star Game.

Football isn’t here yet. Nor is basketball. It is the Mid-Summer Classic, the MLB All Star Game. And POTUS is there. Tune in.

See: I hit bacon, boobs & a blowjob. Not to mention the Trash portion. Juke this joint.